She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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