The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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