It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize