so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it's like iHOP with fire
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
