it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize