as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
