My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
