did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
