he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
