guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
