Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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