i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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