i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
