Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i've created a new STD.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
