i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We have started to decorate penises.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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