Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
