Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The uberlube is also flammable
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
