Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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