I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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