omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
