im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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