I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
