and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
