North Korea, Best Korea!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
do herpes really smell.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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