The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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