She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
