Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
