If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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