Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
