Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize