Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
