Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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