Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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