I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
