yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
