They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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