i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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