it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
