Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
