he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
