just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
