he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
