how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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