The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I know her cup size but not her name....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
