oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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