you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
