i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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