How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
