yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
