On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize