I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
