Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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