these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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