haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
