i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
how does that bad decision feel?
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