I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
