hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
