Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
