You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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