If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
