i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
