I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
