Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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