i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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