my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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